Tired of being angry

I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve been tired. I’ve been tired of being angry. I’ve been tired of being outraged. I’ve been tired of running up, again and again, against other people’s hatred and prejudice. 

I am tired of waking up in the morning, checking the news, and feeling compelled to click on the story about the 18-year-old girl in Florida who is charged with a sex crime for having a sexual relationship with a 15-year-old classmate.* I am tired of feeling sickened by comment after comment saying she deserves what she gets, the two years of house arrest she’s being offered isn’t nearly harsh enough, she’s obviously a pedophile. I’m tired of feeling like reality was hijacked when I wasn’t looking, that we can live in a world where people believe these sorts of things.

I know that it’s the internet, where people go to be awful.** But that doesn’t somehow make it better. I’m tired of letting the vitriol of random internet haters into my life, tired of letting it destroy my peace.

And yet, there are stories that need to be told. Being silent doesn’t feel right, either. I dont’ know the answer.

*The classmate may have been 14 when the relationship began; I tend to think that’s irrelevant. And, unlike most people charged with sex crimes, even extremely similar ones, the young woman in question has been offered a deal that would allow her to have her conviction expunged AND keep her off the registry. While she is getting a raw deal being charged at all, she is actually quite fortunate given the reality of the day.

**My husband and I think that “Where People Go to Be Awful” should be the tagline of the internet. We should probably trademark that.

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4 thoughts on “Tired of being angry

  1. rewdiazepam

    I totally understand your feelings. Let me tell you a story about situations like this. (I have been through a lot, so I have lots of stories and examples). I was arrested on April 2 over 20 years ago and did not go to trial until May 25 of the next year. On the Christmas following the arrest, but before the trial in May, my attorney came over to the house to show some new evidence that the forensic pediatrician discovered that pointed to my innocence. I am sure I was worn out, look like hell, and it must have been apparent. My attorney put his hand on my shoulder and said, “Have a nice Christman, and for God’s sake take a week break from this indictment and upcoming trial. IF YOU DON’T, IT WILL CONSUME YOU.” Some of the best advice I’ve ever received. These things WILL CONSUME a person if they don’t take a break once in a while.

    Day in, day out, this registry thing will start to break a person down just as if he is in a pressure cooker. I was in the medical field, and prolonged stress is a potential killer. Stress causes large amounts of epinephrine and norepinephrine to be released from the adrenal glands. Epinephrine is the hormone that is responsible for the human “fight or flight” syndrome. So basically, people on the registry are living the “fight or flight” reflex on a 24/7 basis.

    This is really detrimental to one’s health. We are all made of the same flesh, blood, and bones, and there is only so much that the human body can endure until it begins to systematically break down. I have seen this happen. Diseases and disease states like hypertension, diabetes, and even cancer can develop when a person is continuously bombarded with stressors such as the sex offender registry. If a person does not make a concerted effort to get away from it from time to time, his health will start to suffer.

    So, Most Boring Radical, I am so glad to have you back, but we need your wisdom and common sense, so take care of yourself and your family. You and I will never make sense of the registry or of all the ridiculous law, but do whatever you have to do to get through this. We desperately need you, and personally, I think you have a lot of good thoughts about life and especially the criminal justice system and the sex offender registry.

    I know, I know, you are tired and sick and worn out over all this nonsense. Go work out, get a fifth of Jack Daniels, scream, throw a fit, or whatever you need to do to get through this.

    I tell everyone to please take care of themselves, both emotionally and physically, so we can live to fight another day.

    Most Boring Radical, we need your spirit.

    rewdiazepam

    Reply
  2. Nathan Phillips

    Hi MBR,

    Just saw this; you might like it. Lots of people in the comments thread sound like you. One example:

    >I have seen 19 year olds who date 15 year olds described as “pedophiles” the last few years, over and over. That is INSANE. It is insane on every single level. It’s insane because a 15 year old is, in nearly all cases, fully post-pubescent and so no true pedophile would be interested, and it’s insane because such an age gap would have been perfectly socially acceptable even a decade ago.

    Why Have We Criminalized Love?
    http://www.freerangekids.com/why-have-we-criminalized-love/

    Miss your posts!

    Best!

    Reply

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